


Scandal

by biblionerd07



Series: Media Matters [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental sexual innuendo, And then purposeful sexual innuendo, Bucky doesn't know modern political correctness, Fluff, Humor, No one can not like Bucky, Tony tries not to like Bucky but fails, brief homophobic language, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 19:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2121336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biblionerd07/pseuds/biblionerd07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two boys are caught "getting fresh" in the Captain America exhibit, and Steve has to make a statement to the press.  He doesn't quite stick to Pepper's script.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scandal

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Scandal丑闻](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3139235) by [blakjc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakjc/pseuds/blakjc)



“He’s still asleep?” Tony’s voice outside the door makes Steve grumble. “I swear, reveille was an hour ago.”

“No more reveille for us,” Bucky’s voice floats down the hall. “It’s Sunday, Stark. Day of rest.”

“I thought super soldiers didn’t need rest.”

“He never gets to sleep in. I swear to God, if you wake him up, I will hurt you.” The whirr of the metal arm is barely audible and Steve presses his face into the pillow to stifle his laughter as he pictures Tony’s face. He rolls himself out of bed and finds a discarded pair of sweats to pull on. Closer inspection reveals they’re Bucky’s—he’d crawled into Steve’s bed last night after a nightmare, though now Steve can’t remember whose, and must’ve shucked them this morning while Steve was still sleeping—and they don’t make it all the way up his hips. He wonders if he should be self-conscious about that. Instead he enjoys a little thrill because he’s wearing Bucky’s pants and deep down he’s still thirteen years old and in love with his best friend and drawing as much fodder for his fantasies as he can without actually telling said best friend.

He opens the door and barks out, “What do you want, Tony?” Tony jumps and Bucky laughs. He looks up and his laugh dies as he stares at Steve wearing his sweats, and Steve feels a little sheepish. Maybe Bucky’s annoyed. Bucky gives himself a little shake when he notices Steve’s questioning look.

“We have a scandal to deal with,” Stark reports. Bucky hands Steve a mug of coffee. “Dealing with the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian.”

“A scandal?” Steve asks with a raised eyebrow. How much scandal could really happen at a museum?

“Oh no.” Bucky’s voice is far too concerned not to raise Steve’s suspicions. “Did someone switch the tape so everyone had to hear Steve singing in the shower? Promise he wasn’t really skinning a cat.”

Tony wrinkles his nose at the thought. “Is that an old person expression? It is truly horrifying. Every day reveals a more disgusting trait of yours, Barnes.”

Bucky grins around a mouthful of muffin and toasts Tony with his coffee. “Glad to hear it.”

“What’s the scandal?” Steve asks, reaching for the muffin Bucky’s holding. “Gimme some of your muffin.”

“Only a little,” Bucky orders even as he breaks it clean in half. “I know how guys like you operate. I give you an inch, you’ll take a mile.”

“Dear Lord, do you two _try_ to lace everything you say with innuendo or is it really that accidental?” Tony asks. Bucky catches Steve’s eye before making his face go completely innocent.

“Sorry, Stark,” he says sweetly. “Must be our boner.”

Tony chokes. Steve and Bucky both keep their eyes wide and innocent. “Are you okay?” Steve asks earnestly. Tony’s muttering curse words and Bucky has to stuff another bite of muffin in his mouth to hide a laugh. Moments like these make Steve’s stomach hurt with how nice it is to have Bucky back with him.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Tony shakes his head. “Pepper says you’re going to have to make a statement.”

“What happened?” Steve repeats.

“There was an incident with the movie,” Tony says.

“Whoa, I was just kidding,” Bucky laughs. “Did someone really switch the tape?”

“No, but some teenagers were caught in the room they play it in. They were, ah, getting frisky, is that how you would term it in your day?”

“Fresh,” Steve corrects. “Getting fresh. Why do I have to make a statement about that?”

“Maybe they weren’t using condoms and you have to give your VD speech again,” Bucky suggests. Tony’s eyes go wide.

“Again?” He asks.

“Captain America was real big on using rubbers during the war.” Bucky throws a smirk at Steve. “Well, not personally, seeing as how he didn’t have occasion.”

“Hey!” Steve reaches to steal the rest of the muffin in retaliation. Bucky licks it and Steve steals it anyway. “Oh, yeah, like that’s going to stop me. Seriously, Buck? We shared one spoon all of 1938.” They scuffle a little, both leaning into the other more than strictly necessary, and Bucky ends up taking a big bite out of the muffin while Steve’s still holding it and nips a little at Steve’s thumb in the process.

“I swear, you a different person with him here,” Tony says, shaking his head. “I’m pretty sure I’d never even heard you laugh before he showed up.”

That, of course, kills some of the levity in Bucky’s face. Steve knocks their shoulders together to keep that hang-dog expression out of Bucky’s eyes.

“Seriously, why does anyone care what I have to say about kids having sex?”

“Well, some conservative news anchors are saying they ‘disrespected and defiled’ your exhibit, I believe is the quote.”

“Ah, jeez.” Bucky rolls his eyes. “I did it in a church once and no one accused me of defiling anything.”

“Catherine McGinty?” Steve guesses. Bucky nods, wiggling his eyebrows.

“She liked doing it in the confessional.”

“Please stop telling me about your weird old person sex kinks,” Tony sighs loudly. “The reason people are very upset is because it was two _male_ teenagers getting fresh in your exhibit.”

Silence reigns for about two seconds, and then Bucky laughs so hard he chokes on the last bite of his muffin. “They saw those gams of yours in the tights and got riled up!” He gasps. “Captain America makes queer kids randy, oh Jesus, I gotta get that on a shirt or something.”

Steve shoves him. “How come I have to make a statement just ‘cause they’re gay?” He asks Tony. “You’re not s’posed to say queer anymore, Buck.”

“Thought gay meant happy.”

“They use it for queer now. Queer’s offensive. It’s a—you know, what do they call ‘em—a slur.”

Bucky heaves a put upon sigh. “I just had to fucking relearn English and now you’re telling me they went and changed it.” Steve knows he’s bluffing. He’d never knowingly say anything offensive. Unless it’s to Steve.

“Well, you are the pillar of America,” Tony tells him, and Bucky laughs again. “The conservatives want you to come out with a statement about how disappointed you are.”

“He’s not, though,” Bucky says. “I swear, you people in the future don’t know a damn thing. I read one of those books, and they’re calling him a champion for traditional American values. Steve’s ma was a goddamn socialist, you know.”

“ _I_ was a socialist,” Steve agrees. “Not like Lenin though.”

“Well, sounds like Lenin got a few things mixed up,” Bucky acquiesces. “I have no allegiance to Lenin, by the way.”

“Good to hear.”

“Look, can we reschedule nonagenarian comedy hour to some time when every news outlet in the country isn’t hassling Pepper for a statement?” Tony barks.

“Sorry,” Steve apologizes immediately. “I didn’t know they were giving Pepper a hard time. What do I need to do?”

“I don’t know. Pepper handles that. I was just sent as the messenger boy. Come to Pep’s office and she’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” Steve promises. “Should I wear the suit?”

“Dammit, Steve, your ass in the suit’s what got us into this mess!” Bucky scolds. Tony can’t help his laugh.

“Who knew you were so witty?”

“I knew.” Steve momentarily abandons his annoyance at having to make a statement about something that doesn’t bother him to be wounded on Bucky’s behalf.

“Of course you did.” Tony rolls his eyes. “Fifteen, Cap!”

He leaves and Bucky pulls out a carton of eggs. “Take a shower; I’ll make you an egg sandwich.”

Steve makes it to Pepper’s office (in a regular suit and tie, not his Captain America suit) in thirteen minutes, swallowing the last bite of his second of two sandwiches Bucky shoved at him as he walked out the door. He’d wasted an extra ten seconds or so getting sappy over Bucky making him breakfast and pushing him out the door like they used to do to each other before the war.

“I know I’m gorgeous but you can make eyes at me later, Stevie, you gotta go save the gays!” Bucky said as he shut the door, and Steve had sighed like a schoolgirl in the elevator.

“Steve, thanks for coming so fast. Sorry we had to interrupt your Sunday.” Pepper ushers him into her office. “Some of these news outlets are really out for blood.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Steve grumbles. “I mean, sure, having sex in a public place isn’t good, but they’re just kids. Kids do dumb stuff all the time.”

“I know, but not everyone in America agrees.”

Steve sighs. “So what kind of statement am I supposed to make?”

“Well, that’s up to you.” Pepper says, and Steve raises an eyebrow. “Within reason,” she amends with a little smile. “I thought you could just make sort of a bland statement that you don’t feel disrespected and you hope everyone practices safe sex.”

Steve thinks of how hard Bucky will laugh if he does, in fact, give his VD speech again. “Am I going live?” He asks.

“Yes, but there will only be two reporters. One’s from the Associated Press so it’ll definitely get spread around.” Pepper hands him some cue cards. “Does this sound alright? They’ll be ready for you in ten minutes. I’ll be right out there if you have any questions.”

It’s the usual vague sort of thing he’s said at a million press conferences before, just with a few words switched to the fit the situation. Stuff about being good citizens and everyone doing their part. It’s boring as hell. Steve hates doing these press conferences—it always reminds him of his USO tour dancing monkey days.

 _Hate this_ , he texts Bucky.

 _What channel?_ Bucky responds. _Want to see your mug on TV._

While he’s asking Pepper what channel the conference will air on, he gets another text from Bucky. _I know you hate it but you can help those kids out. People look up to you._

Steve can’t get that out of his mind for the rest of the time he waits for the cameras to get all set up. People look up to him. Well, it’s true, he knows that—he reads as much of the fan mail as he can. Still.

 _Seems like a lot of responsibility._ He tells Bucky.

 _Good thing you’re a real responsible guy_.

“Steve?” Pepper calls.

_Going on now._

_Just make sure you smile. Knocks their socks off every time._

“Captain Rogers, how does it feel to have such blatant disrespect carried out in your exhibit?” The reporters waste no time in getting down to business.

“I’m not sure it’s wise to take a harmless teenage prank too seriously,” Steve responds evenly. “Kids do a lot of things that aren’t the best of ideas.”

“Do you think the museum should press charges?”

“No,” Steve says firmly. “They weren’t trespassing and no one else was in there. They didn’t hurt anyone.”

“You’re not offended that two gay teenagers had sex in your exhibit?”

“Sexual orientation has no bearing on the matter at hand,” Steve rattles off the cards Pepper gave him. He suddenly remembers Allen Simpson, a boy in their neighborhood, who got caught stepping out with another boy. His family kicked him out and they never saw him again. He tries to push the thought away. Things are different now. He can’t do anything for Allen now.

“Many people believe they chose the Captain America exhibit because of what Captain America stands for,” one reporter says. That’s news to Steve.

“Freedom?” He asks, confused. She scoffs slightly.

“Traditional Christian values,” she corrects. Steve glances down at the cards. There’s another bland statement about Captain America wanting to let people make their own decisions that rocks exactly zero boats and has almost no substance.

“And what do traditional Christian values have to do with this?” Steve asks, his voice a bit more challenging than it’s supposed to be. He sees Pepper raise an eyebrow.

“Most of Christianity considers homosexuality a sin, Captain Rogers. Wasn’t it illegal in your time?”

Steve opens his mouth and then closes it again, not sure what he was going to say. He sees Allen Simpson’s face in his head again, the split lip and black eye Steve last saw on his face. He thinks of stealing glances at Bucky whenever he could, sketching Bucky over and over and over again and hiding the finished products. Some things definitely didn’t change in seventy years. He remembers Bucky telling him to help the kids.

“It was,” he finally affirms. “And you know what? I didn’t agree with it then and I don’t agree with it now.”

“You don’t agree with homosexuality?” She asks, sounding triumphant, pen scrabbling.

“I don’t agree with outlawing it,” Steve corrects firmly, making sure the mic catches every word. “I don’t agree with making people fear for their lives over who they love. I don’t agree with two kids having to sneak off into a museum to be together because they have nowhere else safe to go.” He’s getting slightly worked up now. “I don’t agree with having to hide and worry about getting caught. I don’t agree with not being allowed to hold hands with the person you love on the train after you’ve known ‘em your whole life.” The last one slips out accidentally, a little more personal than he’d meant to get.

There’s a moment of silence. “So you’re saying you’re not a Christian?” The woman arches an eyebrow and Steve just barely fights rolling his eyes. She’s certainly trying to trip him up. Seems awful rude for a Sunday morning.

“Ma’am, as far as I understand, Christ loved everyone, even thieves and adulterers, so I don’t see why he wouldn’t love qu—homosexuals, too. Seems to be something a lot of people forget in the face of hate. 'Sides, last I checked, ma'am, America didn't have a state religion.”

Pepper has her hands on her hips now and Steve feels a little bad for deviating so far from the script she gave him, but he just keeps thinking about being seventeen and looking at the sun lighting up Bucky’s face as they walked through Central Park and aching with how much he wished he could kiss him. He’d always had a sliver of hope that Bucky felt the same, little hints here and there, but they certainly weren’t going to risk it back when Steve was already getting beat up every day and they could go to jail or get institutionalized. And then Bucky came back but he had so much to worry about with nightmares and flashbacks and pain. And now…well, now Steve is pretty sure he was braver as a ninety-pound half-blind asthmatic with heart trouble than he is as a scientifically engineered super soldier, and that’s not a thought that sits particularly well with him.

“In fact, ma’am,” he continues, voice conspiratorial, and Pepper starts making warning hand gestures. “Got my eye on a fella of my own.”

Steve can hear Pepper’s sharp intake of breath even across the room. “Are you coming out right now?” The reporter asks, voice bordering on hysterical. Steve probably just made her whole career.

“Guess so.” Steve shrugs and smiles wide, remembering Bucky’s advice, and then the smile turns natural once he’s thinking of Bucky.

“Can you tell us who this, uh, fella is?” She asks. Steve chuckles.

“Well, I think he should probably hear it in person first. I think he already knows, but I’d rather he not hear it second-hand, if it’s all the same to you.” He stands up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have somewhere to be.” He walks off the stage, shooting Pepper an apologetic look because she’s going to have to clean up another media maelstrom. But he really needs to get upstairs, and she doesn’t look all that mad, anyway. He considers running up the stairs but decides on the elevator because he’s not brave enough that he won’t take a few extra seconds before diving headlong into a conversation that could ruin the best friendship he’s ever had or ever will have. He’s got little bubbles of nerves in the pit of his stomach. Bucky was watching. What if Steve just made a total ass of himself? He takes a breath just outside the door, squaring his shoulders before opening the door.

Bucky’s lounging on the couch and Steve bites his lip when he sees him. The adrenaline buzz has worn off and now Steve’s just sheepish and scared. Bucky looks over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m guessing that wasn’t in Pepper’s script.”

“Um, no. I’m going to have to apologize to her later, but I left too quick to do it there.” Steve’s still standing awkwardly just inside the front door, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Had somewhere to be, right?” Bucky’s keeping his face completely impassive and it’s driving Steve up the wall. Before the war, hell, even _during_ the war, Steve could read him like a book. But being trained as an assassin does wonders for learning to conceal your emotions.

“I, uh, yeah. I just…” Steve’s voice peters out pathetically.

“Needed to talk to this mystery fella?”

“Well—”

“Tell him you got your eye on him?”

“Yeah—”

“You love him?” Bucky’s eyes haven’t left Steve’s face and Steve feels a little curl of hope in his stomach.

“Sure do,” Steve confirms. Bucky nods a few times.

“Well, you better go find him.”

Steve gapes. “Buck…” He stops. Bucky’s grinning at him and he shakes his head. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”

“Been told by a nun or two. You gonna come over here and kiss me or did I read this whole thing wrong and there really _is_ a mystery fella out there?”

“No!” Steve nearly trips in his haste to scramble over to the couch, and Bucky’s laughing at him, his eyes lighter than they’ve been in months. He puts his hands on Steve’s hips as soon as he’s close enough and pulls him down.

“Well, Buck?” Steve asks, stopping just a breath away from Bucky’s lips. Bucky whines a little. “You never said if you loved me back, you know.”

“I’d have to, to stick with a lug like you this long.” Bucky rolls his eyes and bridges the gap between them, and Steve sighs happily. Bucky swipes his phone from the coffee table and takes a picture of them, lips pressed together.

“What are you doing?” Steve asks. Bucky shrugs, smirking wickedly in the way that’s been sending Steve’s heart into somersaults since they were kids and he was plotting ways to get the neighborhood gang to skip church so they could get a baseball game going.

“We’ve got a few scandals on our hands already today,” he reasons. “Let’s go the whole hog.”

He puts it on Twitter with the caption _#myfella_. They bake Pepper cookies to apologize.


End file.
